3 old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three"? "274" was his reply. The doctor says to the second man "It's your turn. What is three times three"? "Tuesday" replys the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "OK, Your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine" says the third man. "That's great" says the doctor. "How did you get that"? "Simple" says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday".
Last nite I lay in bed, looking at the stars, the beautiful sky and the endless horizon.... and suddenly I thought... where the hell is my roof?
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
Question: What is the fullform of maths?
Anwser: Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing Students
Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him
then what virtue would I be showing?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE
Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th
August?
Student:A holiday
Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend
it.
Raju: No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same
time."
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born.
Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, and potatoes cost Rs 3/kg
.Then, what is my age?
STUDENT: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
STUDENT: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says,
'God, are you still in there?'
Teacher:"What is your name?"
Student:"amaar naam Laal Makhon Shorkaar."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english, answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Red Butter Government."
_________________
After numerous rounds of: "We don't even know if Osama is still
alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own
handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.
Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message: 370HSSV-0773H
Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides
had no clue either, so they sent it to the F B I. No one could solve
it so it went to the C I A, then to NSA.
With no clue as to its meaning, they eventually asked Britain's MI-6
for help. MI-6 cabled the White House:
"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."
jotil hoyese sob gulai......