05-29-2006, 08:46 PM
Marriage - Part I
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady
and after the wedding, he laid down the following
rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I
expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you
that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting,
fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my
old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about
it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just
understand that there will be sex here at seven
o'clock every night ......... whether you're here or
not."
(DAMM SHE'S GOOD!)
*****************************************
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of
their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
****************************************
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at
the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and
says, "And you are no good in bed either,"
and storms out of the house.
After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides
to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the
phone after many rings, and the irritated husband
says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady
and after the wedding, he laid down the following
rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I
expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you
that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting,
fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my
old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about
it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just
understand that there will be sex here at seven
o'clock every night ......... whether you're here or
not."
(DAMM SHE'S GOOD!)
*****************************************
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of
their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
****************************************
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at
the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and
says, "And you are no good in bed either,"
and storms out of the house.
After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides
to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the
phone after many rings, and the irritated husband
says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)