11-03-2005, 04:10 PM
11-04-2005, 01:32 AM
Nefertiti Resurrected Wrote:Amra onek shomoy i emon situation e pori, jokhon amader onek priyo keu khub raag/obhimaan kore acche amader upor aar amader tar raag/obhimaan bhangate hoy. And many a times just saying \'sorry\' doesn\'t really work. So what should we do then?
Some may think discussing on the issue would help them to solve the problem. Where as some other may find discussing on a serious note while they are fuming quite risky, so for them this idea wouldn\'t work. And as we differ from person to person in our views to analyze/evaluating situation, so it becomes more difficult at times to solve this apparently pretty simple problem of our life.
I\'m kinda curious...may I find some useful tips on this? Please also give your suggestion on how you calm yourself down when you are angry.
One of the most difficult challenges in our loving relationships is handling differences and disagreement. Often when couples disagree their discussion and can turn into argument and then without much warning into battles. Suddenly they stop talking in a loving manner and automatically begin hurting each other, blaming, complaining, accusing, demanding, resenting and doubting.
Men and women arguing in this way hurt not only their feeling but also their relationship. Just as communication is the most important element in a relationship, argument can be the most destructive element, because the closer we are to someone, the easier it to be bruise or bruised. When two people are not strongly involved it is lot easier to remain detached and objective while arguing or debating. But when two people argue who are emotionally involved, they are easily take things too personally.
As a basic guideline: never argue. Instead discuss the pros and cons of something. Negotiate for what you want but don’t argue. It is possible to be honest, open and even express negative feeling without arguing or fighting.
Some couples fight all the time, and gradually their loves dies. On the other extreme, some couples suppress their honest feelings in order to avoid conflict and not argue. As a result of suppressing their true feeling they lose touch with their loving feeling as well. One couple is having a war while the other is having a cold war.
Without understanding how men and women are different it is very easy to get into argument. The secret to avoiding arguments is loving and respectful communication. The differences and disagreement don’t hurt as much as the ways in which we communicate to them. Ideally an argument does not have to be harmful. Instead it can be simply engaging conversation that expresses our differences and disagreements. Inevitably all couples will have differences and disagree at times. But practically speaking most couples start arguing about one thing and within five mins, are arguing about they way they are arguing.
Unknowingly they begin hurting each other; what could have been easily resolved with mutual understanding and acceptance of differences, escalates into a battle. They refuse to accept or understand the content of their partner point of view because of the way they are being approached.
Resolving an argument or melting an ice requires extending or stretching our point of view to include and integrate another point of view. To make this stretch one need to feel appreciated and respected. If our partner’s attitude is unloving, our self- esteem can actually be wounded by taking on their point view.
Now is the best opportunity to square thing up, as today is eid. So extend yourself for today, may be other person is just waiting for a opportunity……
11-05-2005, 12:28 AM
WOW....so many different thoughts , but one thing is the most common among all - continuing communication with each other...Thanks all for sharing your thoughts.