08-11-2005, 11:26 PM
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn\'t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won\'t change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, \"You\'re next.\" They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.
A joke
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around
with a fly swatter.
\"What are you doing?\" She asked.
\"Hunting flies\" He responded.
\"Oh. Killing any?\" She asked.
\"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,\" he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. \"How can you tell them apart?\"
He responded, \"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.\"
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn\'t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won\'t change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, \"You\'re next.\" They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.
A joke
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around
with a fly swatter.
\"What are you doing?\" She asked.
\"Hunting flies\" He responded.
\"Oh. Killing any?\" She asked.
\"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,\" he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. \"How can you tell them apart?\"
He responded, \"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.\"
