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The Doctor Says- --- But He REALLY Means...


\" Well, what have we here...?\"

--- He has no idea and is hoping you\'ll give him a clue.



\"Well, we\'re not feeling so well today, are we...?\"

--- I\'m stalling for time.



\"If it doesn\'t clear up in a week, give me a call.\"

--- I don\'t know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.



\"Let me check your medical history.\"

--- I want to see if you\'ve paid your last bill before
spending anymore time with you.



\"Well, now, we have some good news and some bad news.\"

--- The good news is, I\'m going to buy that new BMW.
The bad news is,you\'re going to pay for it.



\"This should be taken care of right away.\"

--- I\'d planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy
and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.



\"Let me schedule you for some lab tests.\"

--- I have a forty percent interest in the lab.



\"Let\'s see how it develops.\"

--- Maybe in a few days it will grow into something
that really needs to be cured.



\"I\'d like to prescribe a new drug.\"

--- I\'m writing a paper and would like to use you
for a guinea pig.



\"That\'s quite a nasty looking wound.\"

--- I think I\'m going to throw up.



\"This may smart a little.\"

--- Last week two patients almost bit off their tongues.



\"This should fix you up.\"

--- The drug company slipped me some big bucks
to prescribe this stuff. Hope it works...



\"Everything seems to be normal.\"

--- Rats! I guess I can\'t buy that new beach condo after all.



\"I\'d like to run some more tests.\"

--- I can\'t figure out what\'s wrong.
Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.
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