06-04-2005, 05:16 PM
Nishachor Wrote:\"When you are ready to give it all and want nothing in return and can even be selfish enough to sacrifice your own dreams to fulfill their\'s.......then its love\"
Nishachor
I have read almost all the thread in the love and relationship section. Feel like to express my opinion here to define love.
Love is too large, too deep ever to be truly understood or measured or limited within the framework of words. One result of the mysterious nature of love is that no one has ever, to my knowledge, arrived at a truly satisfactory definition of love. The best definition I have come across of love is by M.Scott Peck in his book “The Road Less Travelled”. He defined love as thus: The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth. It has a long explanation.
I must say Mr Nishachor has added very nice words to define love. But in my opinion it’s more like literature. If one cannot love oneself cannot love others specially when we talk about love in interpersonal relationship. Every individual is responsible for his/her life to creator. And as we are all part of this universe we have also responsibility towards it. I believe the goal of human being is to leave the world a better place than as it was before one dies. There might be different way of doing it. But it’s possible by nurturing one’s own and other spiritual growth. In few words the spiritual growth is let a person be what one can be the best in one’s life. It’s respect to one’s individuality. So sacrificing oneself might not be a thoughtful action as this clashes with the core objective. But yes, a person can sacrifice himself for establishing belief, dream etc. And that’s a different story. Sometime that is greater than a single life.
What is interpersonal love as this is what we mean when we say love?
Interpersonal love is love between two human beings, and is deeper than merely liking someone a lot. Although feelings are usually reciprocal, there can also be unrequited love. Interpersonal love is usually found in a interpersonal relationship, such as between family members, friends, and couples. However, people often express love for other people outside of these relationships through charity and volunteering. Some elements that are often present in interpersonal love: Affection (appreciation of other),attachment (satisfying basic emonational need),reciprocation (if love is mutual),commitment (a desire to maintain love),emonional intimacy (sharing emonation and feeling),kinship (family bond),passion (sexual desire),phyxical intimacy (sharing personal space) self-interest (desiring rewards) and service (desire to help)
Passion, or sexual energy, is probably the most important element in determining how a relationship is seen. This is because passion is often considered undesirable or unhealthy in love. In many religions and systems of ethics, it is wrong to have passionate love for immediate family, or outside of a committed relationship.
But what about ‘true love’ ????
As per ‘Triangular Theory of Love ‘probabely consummate love is ‘true love’ where intimacy, passion & commitment are present. In most common love now a days is romantic love where only Intimacy and passion present ; there is no commitment. And companionate love is where intimacy and commitment present. Example of companionate love could be ‘Friendship’
Reply ta lomba hoye jassy. Shes korci Khail Gibran’r akti kobita deye. It is taken from his book ‘ The Prophet’ . I think nobody has define love in interpersonal relationship in such a brilliant way. It is so good that M.Scoot peck (harvard educated psychotherapist) taken this poem to define love at some point. It’s very thought provoking poem.
Love is too large, too deep ever to be truly understood or measured or limited within the framework of words. One result of the mysterious nature of love is that no one has ever, to my knowledge, arrived at a truly satisfactory definition of love. The best definition I have come across of love is by M.Scott Peck in his book “The Road Less Travelled”. He defined love as thus: The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth. It has a long explanation.
I must say Mr Nishachor has added very nice words to define love. But in my opinion it’s more like literature. If one cannot love oneself cannot love others specially when we talk about love in interpersonal relationship. Every individual is responsible for his/her life to creator. And as we are all part of this universe we have also responsibility towards it. I believe the goal of human being is to leave the world a better place than as it was before one dies. There might be different way of doing it. But it’s possible by nurturing one’s own and other spiritual growth. In few words the spiritual growth is let a person be what one can be the best in one’s life. It’s respect to one’s individuality. So sacrificing oneself might not be a thoughtful action as this clashes with the core objective. But yes, a person can sacrifice himself for establishing belief, dream etc. And that’s a different story. Sometime that is greater than a single life.
What is interpersonal love as this is what we mean when we say love?
Interpersonal love is love between two human beings, and is deeper than merely liking someone a lot. Although feelings are usually reciprocal, there can also be unrequited love. Interpersonal love is usually found in a interpersonal relationship, such as between family members, friends, and couples. However, people often express love for other people outside of these relationships through charity and volunteering. Some elements that are often present in interpersonal love: Affection (appreciation of other),attachment (satisfying basic emonational need),reciprocation (if love is mutual),commitment (a desire to maintain love),emonional intimacy (sharing emonation and feeling),kinship (family bond),passion (sexual desire),phyxical intimacy (sharing personal space) self-interest (desiring rewards) and service (desire to help)
Passion, or sexual energy, is probably the most important element in determining how a relationship is seen. This is because passion is often considered undesirable or unhealthy in love. In many religions and systems of ethics, it is wrong to have passionate love for immediate family, or outside of a committed relationship.
But what about ‘true love’ ????
As per ‘Triangular Theory of Love ‘probabely consummate love is ‘true love’ where intimacy, passion & commitment are present. In most common love now a days is romantic love where only Intimacy and passion present ; there is no commitment. And companionate love is where intimacy and commitment present. Example of companionate love could be ‘Friendship’
Reply ta lomba hoye jassy. Shes korci Khail Gibran’r akti kobita deye. It is taken from his book ‘ The Prophet’ . I think nobody has define love in interpersonal relationship in such a brilliant way. It is so good that M.Scoot peck (harvard educated psychotherapist) taken this poem to define love at some point. It’s very thought provoking poem.
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other\'s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other\'s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together;
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other\'s shadow[/color]
Thanks everone to participate in the discussion